


Liar

by Carey_Miller



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap, HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Birthday, Death, Five Stages of Grief, Grief, Heavy Angst, M/M, One Shot, Past, Sad, and shao fei isn’t dealing with it well oops, anyways happy birthday tang yi!, basically tang yi dies, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 07:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21250001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carey_Miller/pseuds/Carey_Miller
Summary: “I promise I’ll be by your side for every birthday to come. I love you.”Shao Fei crumples up the piece of paper, expecting to feel satisfaction and relief as he tosses it across the room. What he’s finds himself feeling is heartbreak and betrayal.Taking shallow steps to the paper ball, he picks it up and unwrinkles it, smoothing the edges and reading the words over and over again.Liar, he thinks as he clutches it close to his chest and let’s his tears run dry.— — —“The whispered promises we shared, the long nights we stayed up, I wonder if you remembered all of them as you closed your eyes and never opened them again.”





	Liar

**Author's Note:**

> Me: It’s Tang Yi’s birthday! Time to write something happy and maybe a bit spoopy—
> 
> My gremlin brain: He dies lol
> 
> Me: :0
> 
> I tried to write in Shao Fei’s POV a bit, but it’s probably really OOC,,,, oops lol
> 
> Songs that are slightly referenced in the fic (in order of appearance):
> 
> Don’t Wanna Cry - SEVENTEEN  
Thanks - SEVENTEEN  
Love Scenario - iKON  
Fool - WINNER  
Goodbye Road - iKON  
Don’t Forget - iKON
> 
> Enjoy ~

It’s quiet in the house nowadays. No more early mornings where Shao Fei would hear the soft snores of his husband beside him, breakfast that would be sizzling on the pan, the sound of the shower running or the kettle boiling to brew some hot oolong tea.

It’s too quiet in this house.

He expects to see Tang Yi on the left of him, laying in bed and sleeping comfortably. He expects seeing a heartwarming smile or a loud groan from Tang Yi as he pokes his cheek until he wakes up. He expects to feel a bit sore at his hips from the rough wrestling the two of them did the night before. He expects all of these things, but they ended up to be just mere wishes.

_Where did you go?_

There are times where he wants to call out to the house in hopes of hearing a response, something along the lines of “I’m here” or “What’s wrong?” Even a _yes?_ would be fine, as long as he could hear Tang Yi’s voice again.

Shao Fei doesn’t want to believe that Tang Yi is gone, that he’s not here with him anymore. He thought that maybe, just maybe, calling out for him will make him appear again, that Tang Yi would be right around the corner.

The days he has to go to work is excruciating. Constant stares from his coworkers, asking him how he is and if he’s doing alright, if he can get over the death of his husband so he won’t continue to blank out during meetings. At least his small group of friends, especially Zhao Zi, are considerate and won’t shatter his patched up heart again when saying “How are you?” They know him well enough to know that he’s far from okay.

_Why did you have to leave?_

It was like a pathway between them, but it began to close and Tang Yi took his final breath. A million worlds that separated them, that kept them apart. Everyone says that the person you love is kept close to your heart, but Shao Fei feels that Tang Yi grows farther and farther apart as the days and nights blur and pass.

There are days that he lays in bed, thinking about the past. How happy they were, how toleratable the days were when Tang Yi was by his side. 

_I need to find you, I need to go and see you, but the tears well up and things are getting blurrier._

There are days where he’s just so angry and guilty, and he blames himself that Tang Yi died because of him. _He died saving you, if you didn’t do something so reckless, the two of you still might of been together._

Sometimes, Shao Fei is just too exhausted to do anything. Tired from the sleepless nights and the long days, constantly overthinking and wondering and regretting. He wonders if he could exchange something to the gods to see Tang Yi again. He’s getting desperate, what does he have to do or give so he just see Tang Yi’s smile again?

The day of Tang Yi’s birthday came around, late October where the leaves where falling and the days grew colder. Shao Fei was able to find some courage to go see Tang Yi’s grave, bringing white chrysanthemums and placing them in a little jar that he fills with clean water.

Words fill this throat as he tries to think of something to say, anything really. Shao Fei’s hands are clasped so tightly together that his palms become red afterwards, but no physical pain can compare to what his heart is holding.

There are times where it would take the whole Unit 3 to get Shao Fei back home, in which he would simply refuse to leave and that he wanted to stay for just a bit longer. There were times where he couldn’t even stand seeing the black tombstone and Tang Yi’s face on it, the words literally written into stone. _I wanted to be your tomorrow, so I lived today_. 

Pursing his lips and skimming his hands against the carvings, he thinks to himself, _yesterday was our today, but now there is no tomorrow._ There was no tomorrow with Tang Yi anymore, and Shao Fei might as well be stabbed in the heart as those deafening thoughts drown him.

He leaves the cemetery, feeling more alone than ever before. It was supposed to be a day where they would both have fun and appreciate each other’s company, to relax and feel loved, to feel special. “Happy birthday” is what Shao Fei should of said in the early morning, not “It’s been a year” when the sun began to set.

When he arrives home, Shao Fei pulls out Tang Yi’s letters to him from years ago. It was after Tang Yi turned himself in and Chen Wen Hao ended his life. During those years in prison, Tang Yi would write as many letters as he could to Shao Fei, in which Shao Fei kept them in a small shoebox at the very back of their closet. The words ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ were seen in every letter, always full of love and admiration and longing. 

_Going through the scattered memories, I long for you every day._

One letter in particular catches his eyes. It was the last letter Shao Fei every received from Tang Yi, just over a year ago. His husband had to resolve some legal matters abroad, but the old-fashioned letters didn’t stop coming. 

_Shao Fei,_

_It’s been over a month since I’ve seen you. Even though it hasn’t been as long as staying in some uncanny prison, these days, without you, feels like forever. I can’t wait to see you and your smile again, I can’t wait to see you by my side when I wake up in the mornings. I miss you, lots._

_How have you been, by the way? Are you eating enough and taking a lot of time for self care? I don’t want to come back and see stacks of instant noodle boxes in the recycling, you do know how much sodium is in there, right? Are you getting enough sleep as well? Don’t stay up too late, the case can always wait. _

_How is my sister and Dao Yi? Does she still take you out on unexpected shopping adventures? Does Dao Yi buy you all ice cream on Sundays? How is Jack and Zhao Zi? I heard from Jack, who was told from Zhao Zi, that you’ve been not as energetic and working a lot of overnight shifts. My love, take some rest and treat yourself. I’ll be home soon._

_I’ve also planned something special for us when my birthday comes around, I hope you’re excited._

_Your birthday is also in a month or two. I promise I’ll be by your side for every birthday to come. I love you._

_I’ll see you soon,_

_Tang Yi_

Shao Fei crumples up the piece of paper, expecting to feel satisfaction and relief as he tosses it across the room. What he’s finds himself feeling is heartbreak and betrayal. He wants to feel bitter because none of that happened, because something that was supposed to be happy and amazing was robbed from them, from Shao Fei.

It was supposed to be Tang Yi’s day, a celebration for coming into this world. Not disappearing from it.

_I didn't mean to create memories to be left with pain._

Taking shallow steps to the paper ball, he picks it up and unwrinkles it, smoothing the edges and reading the words over and over again. He recites it like a poem, sobs racking through his body as he wishes that the love of his life would return to him.

_Why did he have to step in front of that bullet, why did he have to sacrifice himself for me? Why did he have to die in my arms? Why couldn’t I save him? _

_The whispered promises we shared, the long nights we stayed up, I wonder if you remembered all of them as you closed your eyes and never opened them again. _

_Why did it have to be like this?_

He searches for some sort of answer that could of been hidden in the letter, but nothing that Tang Yi wrote down stands out enough to seem like a clue. His bitter tears fall onto Tang Yi’s final words to him, _I’ll see you soon_, and Shao Fei attempts to wipe the tears away, yet he realizes that the ink disappears as well.

_Liar_, he thinks as he clutches it close to his chest and let’s his tears run dry.

**Author's Note:**

> and I oop—
> 
> If you liked this short one shot, please leave a kudo and/or comment!! I love feedback and knowing that people enjoyed my work owo !
> 
> See y’all in the November/December History 3 Trapped Gift Exchange! :)
> 
> (Tumblr is trees-and-sky [main blog] and your-local-ikon-meme-dealer [side blog] if you wanna hang out with me on there! :D )


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